May 21, 1998

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THE ONLY SOLUTION IS

WALK OUT!

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

One of the things I do most at 74 is to think back about my life. I have always been a perfectionist and most certainly an idealist. Just recently one of the great plastic surgeons of the U.S. said to me "Why weren't you a surgeon since everything you do is so precise?"

My answer was simple:the lack of money.

I look back not out of guilt or unhappiness but just the opposite. I have always asked myself "What could I do better?" so as to learn to improve for the next time around (event, not life!).

When I look back at my full and very happy life I always ask myself,

"What should I or could I have done differently"

"Our achievements speak for themselves. What we have to keep track of are our failures, discouragements, and doubts. We tend to forget the past difficulties, the many false starts, and the painful groping. We see our past achievements as the end result of a clean forward thrust, and our present difficulties as signs of decline and decay." Eric Hoffer (1902-83), U.S. philosopher. Reflections on the Human Condition, aph. 157 (1973).The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1993 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.

AND MY ANSWER IS :

I SHOULD HAVE WALKED OUT FAR MORE TIMES THAN I DID!

What am I talking about? I am talking about all kinds of situations and I will start off with a few examples of when I did and was right to do so:

A SPEECH: I had just returned from an exhausting trip to clients in Europe and on my first day in the office my wonderful Director of Communications (Deborah Ishlon) informed me that I had to go to Hawaii on Tuesday, a 14 hour trip. I went and arrived in Maui on the last flight, about 10 at night. I showed up for a speech I was scheduled to make at about 11:00AM and was introduced by the Chairman of the Company with this introduction:

"I don't know what Mr. Rinfret is going to say to us. In fact I don't even know why he is here. I can't conceive of anything he can tell us that will be useful to us in our business or that would be valuable, but in any event here is Mr. Rinfret"

I got up and said:"If the Chairman doesn't know why I am here or what I am going to talk about why waste my time. Thank you and goodbye."

I then walked out and sent them a bill for $15,000 which covered the cost of the speech and transportation.They paid it!

I was an Advisor to the "Fund of Funds" Board of Directors. We were at a meeting in Bermuda. The Chairman of the Board announced that one "Robert Vesco" wished to address the Board. He came in and right off the bat he was rude. He started a monologue of accusations about the Board and threatened everybody in the room with criminal charges. I interrupted to ask "Who invited you here and under what authority are you here?"

The Directors all told me to let the man speak!

I wrote out a one line resignation as an Advisor to the Board, got up, walked out of the room and took the next plane back to New York.

The man was accepted by the Board and he ended up stealing $500,000,000/$600,000,000 from the Fund, is now in exile (apparently in Cuba) and wanted by the U.S. for grand larceny. The Board of Directors was investigated by the U.S. for years. I was never interviewed by them since they had, in their files, my one-line resignation.

I am glad I walked.

I could go on and give you about another half dozen major examples but you get the point:

THERE IS A TIME TO STAY AND THERE IS A TIME TO GO!

How do you decide when to take a walk?

Here are my rules but they might well be my very own rules. I want to emphasize that never once was my decision to walk ever, in any way, influenced by monetary considerations. When I walked from the Fund of Funds I needed the money but I walked. My pride is worth more than coupons.

In any event here are the rules I developed over the years that lead me to walk. There is no particular order to the list.

• When a social argument becomes a shouting match and no one is listening to anyone. Tempers flare and remarks are made that will be regretted later on when sanity prevails.
• When religion is discussed with venom and accusations (I once walked out of a dinner party because a woman, screaming like an idiot, told me that only the Jews had a right to talk about the persecution of the Jews).
• When a political discussion turns into a brawl of accusations.
• When a liberal or a conservative has all and the only answers and refuses to listen to anyone except themselves. "Crossfire" is a case in point.
• When an appointment is ignored and I have been sitting there patiently for 30 minutes waiting for the appointment to be honored. I once walked out on Nixon and later on Reagan for their rudeness in not honoring an appointed time. I have walked out on Doctors and Dentists more than once.
• When a member of my family raises hell.
• When you absolutely know that sitting there will accomplish absolutely nothing but more arguments. I once walked out of a Directors meeting of the Genesco Corporation when tempers flared and the yelling became personal. They called me at the airport to return to the meeting since my walking out woke everybody up.
• When the other person or persons refuses to listen.
• When insults are hurled.
• When you get sick to your stomach over what is going on regardless of what it is and you do not want to be party to it.See Bermuda above.
• When you know there is no point to your being there and you are a fish out of water. You don't belong, leave!

But this is enough; you can develop your own rules if you think that walking may make sense.

No fuss, no bother, no announcements, no grandstanding, no flourishes, no speeches, no drama, no excitement.

You just get up and very quietly walk out. You have freed yourself of a hostile or uncomfortable environment and you can breathe easily once again. Frequently people will not know you have left and may only notice it later on.

If it is noticed that you have left that says it all, you just walked out.

The purpose of a walk is to say something without saying it at all. It is the perfect example of the very old proverb that:

When you walk out quietly think of all the things you have not done as well as what you have done:

1. You have not gotten involved in a brawl.
2. You have avoided insulting or alienating someone.
3. You have freed yourself of unpleasantness that had no purpose or value.
4. You have not said something you might regret later on.
5. You have maintained your dignity, your pride and your composure.
6. You have demonstrated a cool head.
7. You have made a statement without saying one solitary word!

Taking a walk is not an easy thing to do and there are times when it might be physically impossible to do (you might not have available exit means).

Taking a walk is not done frequently nor is it done lightly. It is a reserve position when it is the only solution to an otherwise vexing and unpleasant problem.

I have done it about 15 times in my life and each and every time was important. When faced with what might appear to be an insurmountable and unpleasant problem was resolved by

I thank you for coming to visit me!

Email me any and all comments you might want to make and we both might enjoy it!