From
My Perspective:From
My Perspective:You might be interested in a site which has a video on manners for children entitled "Manners Can be Fun". They have linked to me and asked me to link to them which I am glad to do. Their site is :
http://www.nlci.com/etikids/
It would not hurt many parents to find out why manners can be fun and the advantage they bring in life!
Here is another manners page which will most surely interest you!
"Manners are of more importance than laws... Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in."Edmund Burke (1729-97), Irish philosopher, statesman. Letters on a Regicide Peace, letter 1 (1796).The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1993 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.
I will never forget the time I arrived in Chicago in the early morning. I had been in Business class from New York and so there were people in front of me being greeted at the gate.
As I emerged onto the terminal I watched one man greet his wife. His greeting consisted of a very small wave of his hand below his waist. She responded with the same wave. They never kissed each other, they never said hello, they never touched each other. He turned on his heel and walked towards the terminal and she fell in besides him for the walk. How did I know she was meeting her husband? As we got off she happened to mention to me she was coming back from New York and her husband was going to meet her.
Neither one of them had any manners, or upbringing, they didn't know enough to greet each other (the most fundamental of all manners).
Lord pity their poor uneducated uncouth children! They are in for a rude shock.
What I have never but never understood is why people lack the most basic of manners. Manners don't cost anything at all, there is no charge for exercising them, they are free and frequently they yield an enormous return.
What does it cost anyone to say "Hello, how are you?", to smile, to exchange a pleasantry, to say "thank you", to stand aside to allow a woman out the door first, to hold a door open, to help someone pick up something, to assist people looking at maps. ( in Nantucket the tourists get lost frequently since the maps are terrible and there are few street signs).
I was in what used to be the local Finast and I was checking out when I happened to look down. Under my right foot was a $50 bill and around my left foot were another four (4) $50 dollar bills or $250 in all. I stooped over to pick them up and at that moment the woman who ran customer service came by. I asked her "Do you know anyone that has reported that they lost money? She said "No".
I told here I had just picked up $250 in $50 bills. She looked at me and said nothing. The cashier said "I think I may know who lost it since she just left here and she is a friend. I gave the money to the woman in charge of customer service, got the telephone number and called the woman the cashier thought may have lost it. After I told her where to claim her money she hung up. She never even said thank you! Would you? I would, to say the least. If people sometimes wonder about the function of manners remember this story. All I wanted was "thank you".
Manners are the veneer of CIVILIZATION the polish that helps things function, the proof that we are civilized.
Parents that do not instruct their children in proper manners are bringing up children that will be rude and impolite to the world.If they later engage in female abuse or sexual harassment the parents should not be surprised. Manners are what make interpersonal relations pleasant and comfortable.
The lack of manners is far more noticeable than having good manners! If you have good manners you may not stand out in a crowd, but if you are a boor you stand out like a damaged thumb,
held high!
The failure to treat people with good manners is more of a reflection on the parents of a child or person than it is on the child or person. Manners are taught by parents and not by anybody else (public schools certainly don't teach manners of any kind , in fact, it is frequently the reverse).
Manners are a sign of respect, a sign of education (savages don't have manners but they do follow a protocol of manners), a symbol of upbringing, a signal of education and knowledge, a reflection of religion (which one is inconsequential), a symbol of consideration (holding the door for someone is consideration).
Manners used to be called a "social grace". Japanese manners are so different from those of western civilization that you quickly realize that manners are a fabric of a culture.
In Japan there are about 180 million people on an island with a habitable land mass less than that of California! Think what life would be like in Japan if they did not treat each other with courtesy and good manners! They have to have a rigid set of manners since they breathe down each others neck night and day!
Japan is a crowded nation and that crowding shows in each and every way each and every day. The restaurants are crowded, the subways are crowded, the golf clubs are crowded, the hotels are crowded, the baths are crowded, the beach is crowded,. They put their golf driving ranges on top of buildings with catch nets because there is no land or it is too expensive to afford a golf range! The island is a crowd, night and day. In America we can get away. In Japan they get away by leaving the island of Japan. But they have to treat each other with manners and courtesy of end up in a nightmarish life. I never knew, in my 25 years of going to Japan each and every quarter for 2 weeks at a time, a rude or inconsiderate, impolite Japanese.
Unfortunately rudeness is becoming an increasing propensity in the United States. I know full well that I am 75+ but in my mind the people under 30 years of age in this wonderful country are the rudest, most impolite, arrogant, inconsiderate Americans I have ever known! Not only are they rude in almost everything they do but they don't give a damn!And if you say anything to them they insult you and us vile language!
They will learn, the hard way. they will
feel it when it all goes full circle. Treat others rudely and others will
treat you rudely!My rule, for what it is worth, is treat me nicely and I
will treat you nicely; treat me rudely and I will give you a senior citizens
life time experience in how to be really rude!
Allow me to give you one example of modern behavior which I not only detest but which is a perfect example of ignorance on the part of those doing it.
In the medieval days only the nobility were allowed to have family names. The peasants had only a surname and were not allowed to have a family name. After various peasant uprisings they had the right to a family name which explains names like "carpenter", "butcher" (Butcher & Sherrard [brokers]),"Mason","Fisher",etc.
When someone calls me up whom I have never met, do not know and of whom I have no knowledge and they start off by calling me "Pierre", I automatically tell them I am not interested and get off the phone (politely, of course).
I am not a peasant and neither are you.
We are entitled to the respect that generations of our families have given to building a family name!
Maybe the use of the first name is supposed to be good marketing but not to me or my generation! As I just said I am not a peasant but then again, you might say, but you are a fuddy-duddy! So be it, but at least I appreciate and value the generations which have preceded me!
I will close with this thought: manners were developed over thousands of years so that different people would know how to treat each other. That, incidentally, explains differences in European and Asian manners.
With the thought that Manners make life a bit more enjoyable I send you my best wishes and my regards,
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